Songs of a Synsuous Nature #19 - Amish Style Rap
01/27/2013 09:16
I was churning butter at three-thirty,
When a bloody centaur did smite me!
So I dropped my paddle and drew my sword,
Now the evil beast is restin' with The Lord.
I threw the corpse on the compost pile,
Now the worms are feasting in style.
City people laugh because I till the earth;
Yet they don't really know what their meal is worth.
They wear their silk and their fancy clothes,
Where do they think they even got those?
I am a simple man, but you rely on me.
Just try to grow some corn and then you will see!
Gold is pretty and your palace might be fine,
But from my house you did make thine.
Always remember that those below,
Can make your life painful if they go.
It is easy to take on airs and to think you are better.
But remember me when you put on that sweater.
Update: I wanted a funnier version, so here is take 2:
I was churning butter at three-thirty,
When a bloody centaur did try to smite me!
I chopped it up,for all I'm worth.
I swing a mean axe for a man of my girth.
Centaur is chewy and hard to swallow,
Still my wife says that my leg is hollow.
The next day I am raisin' one barn or another,
When some city folk walk by and call me a nutter!
One challenged me to a duel; well we can't have that,
But I punched him in the face until his lip was fat.
City folk call us quaint or say we are fools,
But we don't cotton to their arrogant rules.
My wife might be ugly and my house is plain,
But you city folk would starve without my grain.
You like your fancy clothes and you like your fancy hats,
But I gathered that wool, so how'd ya like that?
You like to put on airs, you think you are better,
But remember me when you put on that sweater!